讽刺搞笑的英语谚语

1.来点搞笑的英文谚语啊 最好不是直译的

Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. 宁做鸡头，不做凤尾。

The foremost dog catches the hare. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃。 Every potter praises his own pot. 老王卖瓜，自卖自夸。

The fox preys farthest from home. 兔子不吃窝边草。 The proof of the pudding is in the eating. 要知道梨子的滋味，最好是亲口尝一尝。

One swallow does not make a summer. 一花独放不是春。 One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine. 一颗老鼠屎坏了一锅粥。

Set a fox to keep one's geese. 引狼入室。 What do you expect from a pig but a grunt？ 狗嘴里吐不出象牙。

1. Waste not,want not. 俭以防匮。

2. From saving comes having. 富有来自节俭。 3. A penny saved is a penny gained. 省一文是一文。

4. Take care of the pence and the pound will take care of themselves. 金钱积少便成多。 5. Frugality is an estate alone. 节俭本身就是一宗财产。

6. He that regards not a penny,will lavish a pound. 小钱不知节省，大钱将滥花。 7. Small gains bring great wealth. 积小利，成巨富。

8. Many a little makes a mickle. 积少便成多。 9. As the touchstone tries gold,so gold tries man. 试金之石可试金，正如黄金能试人。

10. Courage and resolution are the spirit and soul of virtue. 勇敢和坚决是美德的灵魂。 11. The path to glory is always rugged. 光荣之路常坎坷。

12. Nothing is difficult to the man who will try. 世上无难事，只要人肯试。 13. The fire is the test of gold;adversity of strong man. 烈火试真金，困苦炼壮士。

14. Great hopes make great man. 远大的希望造就伟大的人物。 15. No way is impossible to courage. 勇士面前无险路。

16. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. 平静的大海决不能造就出熟练的水手。 17. The good seaman is known in bad weather. 坏天气下才能识得出良好的海员；要识好海员，须凭坏天气。

18. The best hearts are always the bravest. 行为最勇敢的人心地总是最善良。 19. We must not lie down,and cry,God help us. 求神不如求己。

20. He that falls today may be up again tomorrow. 今天跌倒的人也许明天就会站起。 21. Rome was not built in a day. 罗马并非一日可建成；坚持必成。

22. Success belongs to the persevering. 胜利属于坚忍不拔的人。 23. We must repeat a thousand and one times thatperseverance is the only road to success. 我们要多次重申：不屈不挠是取得胜利的唯一道路。

24. Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. 十九次失败，到第二十次获得成功，这就叫坚持。 25. Step by step the ladder is ascended. 登梯需要逐级登。

26. Adversity leads to prosperity. 困苦通向昌盛。 27. Patience and application will carry us through. 忍耐和专心会使我们度过难关。

28. Fortune often rewards with interest those that have patience to wait for her. 做事只要有耐心，到头总会有好运；耐心候好运，好运常会来。 29. All things will come round to him who will but wait. 只要肯等待，一切都会按时来。

30. Constant dropping wears the stone. 滴水不绝可穿石。 31. Omelets are not made without breaking of eggs. 鸡蛋不打破，蛋卷做不成；不甘愿吃苦，则预期效果达不到。

32. The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down. 世界好似一把梯，有人上去有人下。 33. There needs a long apprenticeship to understand the mystery of the world's trade. 要知世事奥秘多，须要长期作学徒。

1）找一个朋友，让他先说10遍“老鼠”，然后再说10遍“鼠老”，待他说完“老鼠，老鼠，老鼠，鼠老，鼠老，鼠老”之后，立即问他“猫最怕什么”，几乎可以保证他会答“老鼠”. （2）还有请人朗读古诗“暗湿竹，暗湿绿，暗湿透春竹，暗湿透春绿”，“卧梅又闻花，卧枝伤痕低”之类. （3） 你问他：“一个三点水加一个来是什么？” 他想了一想说：“不确定，涞（LAI）？” 你再问：“一个三点水加一个去呢？” 他80%会说：“。什么字？有这个字吗？去？” 其实应该是“法”。

（4） 伸出1个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出2个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出3个手指，问别人“1+1是几”10人里最多1人答对 （5） 甲：给你讲个故事，从前有个傻子，别人问他什么他都说“没有”，比如问他你吃 饭了吗？他说“没有”，你叫什么？他说“没有”。

唉，对了，你听过这个故事么？乙：没有。

Obedience is the first duty of a soldier军人以服从命令为天职。

Observation is the best teacher.观察是最好的老师。 Offense is the best defense.进攻是最好的防御。

Old friends and old wines are best.陈酒味醇，老友情深。 Old sin makes new shame.一失足成千古恨。

Once a man and twice a child.一次老，两次小。 Once a thief, always a thief.偷盗一次，做贼一世。

Once bitten, twice shy.一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳。 One boy is a boy, two boys half a boy, three boys no boy.一个和尚挑水喝，两个和尚抬水喝，三个和尚没水喝。

One cannot put back the clock.时钟不能倒转。 One eyewitness is better than ten hearsays.百闻不如一见。

One false move may lose the game.一着不慎，满盘皆输。 One good turn deserves another.行善积德。

One hour today is worth two tomorrow.争分夺秒效率高。 One man's fault is other man's lesson.前车之鉴。

One never loses anything by politeness.讲礼貌不吃亏。 One swallow does not make a summ一燕不成夏。

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！” “我没有睡着。”

那个男人回答。 “没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道这个谚语吗？ 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。

’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能让我们的老师回去吗？ 有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。

五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌？ 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。

但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。 三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son y。

1. VirtueMany years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."美 德获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。

一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

2. Difference"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."区 别“研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。

研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3.Too LongThe travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long."太久一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。

她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。

每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4.Charge for Bread and ButterSome years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."The $1.50 was returned without delay.面包和黄油费几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。

帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。

但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。”爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。5. Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”“好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”英文谚语大全 “to let the cat out of the bag”，它的意思是“揭露一个秘密”，尤其是很重要、关键的那种。

关于这个词组的记载可以追溯到1760年，但据说此前一两百年就有这种说法了。 早在超市（或杂货店）出现之前，人们通常在当地的市场买菜。

农民和商人们在那里叫卖蔬菜水果、鸡蛋面包之类，此外还会出售肉类和家禽，通常都是些活的动物。在一些特殊的场合（如节日盛宴），乳猪是采购单上一样很抢手的食物。

由于乳猪会乱动，当顾客挑选好并结账后，商人为了运送方便就把猪塞进一个帆布口袋（poke）里递给顾客。 然而，市场上的许多交易并不光明磊落，奸商有时会利用顾客一时走神，把一只流浪猫冒充乳猪放进袋子里。

直到顾客回家，“把猫从袋子里拿出来”（let the cat out of the bag），才发现这个骗局。所以这个词组意味着是一个意外的，但通常令人讨厌的发现。

据说这也是谚语“不要买装在袋子里的猪”（don't buy a pig in a poke）的由来，也就是“不要不看现货就买东西”的意思。 而the World Wide Words website的经营者Michael Quinion对这个故事表示怀疑，他指出猫在袋子里会变得极度狂躁，因此很难把它误当成一头小猪。

也许这个词组是来自于某个人的经历，由于某种原因有一只猫在他袋子里，而戏剧性的效果则使这个故事广为流传。

When I was 28,I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down.

One of those days,I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.A student camein and his eyes widened.

″Wow！″heexclaimed.″You should wear clothes like that everyday.You look twenty,maybe even thirty years younger！″

28岁那年，我在一所高中教一年级学生英语。这所学校允许教职员工有时不必穿得那么正式。

一天，我穿了一件运动衫和一条休闲裤。一个学生进来看见后，瞪大了眼睛。

“哇哦！”他大呼小叫地说：“你该天天这么穿。你看上去足足年轻了20岁，甚至30岁呢！”

have my limit 我的忍耐度有限 don't brush me off 不要敷衍我 let's get it straight 我们打开天窗说亮话吧 we sang the same songs 我们志同道合 speak of the devil 说曹操， 曹操就到 man proposes and god disposes 谋事在人成事在天 to look one way and row another声东击西 . to suffer for one's wisdom. 聪明反被聪明误 to kick against the pricks 螳臂挡车 . pearls of wisdom 至理名言 beyond one's grasp. 鞭长莫及 strick the iron when it is hot 趁热打铁 prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them. 富贵结朋友， 患难见真情 A bad thing never dies. 遗臭万年 A bully is always a coward. 色厉内荏 A close mouth catches no flies. 病从口入 Actions speak louder than words. 事实胜于雄辩 A fox may grow gray, but never good. 江山易改，本性难移 A miss is as good as a mile. 失之毫厘，差之千里 An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. 以眼还眼，以牙还牙 A word spoken is past recalling. 一言既出，驷马难追 A young idler, an old beggar. 少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲 Beauty lies in the love's eyes. 情人眼里出西施 Let me take it down An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ." "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know." 为我所用 一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。

“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。 Seven Dogs (Two) Teacher: Now Thomas, what do five and one make? (No answer) Suppose I gave you five dogs and then anoher dog, how many dogs would you have. Thomas: Seven. Teacher: Seven? Why would you have seven? Thomas: Because I ve got a dog of my own at home. 译文： 七只狗 老师：现在，汤玛斯，五加一等于多少？（没有回答）假设我给你五只狗，再给你另一只，你就有几只狗了？ 汤玛斯：七只。

老师：七只？怎么会有七只？ 汤玛斯：因为我家里自己也有一只狗。 中文： 十分简单 某日上课，老师宣布下节课小考。

小明紧张地立即举手问老师会不会考得很难，老师只说了一句：“十分简单。”乐得大家拍手叫好，可是考完之后，每个人都惨不忍睹，怎么会简单呢？ 于是小明又问老师，只听老师说：“我可没有说错哦，‘十分’简单，剩下‘九十分’很难！” 英文： Extremely simple Some date attends class, teacher under announcement festivalclass midterm exam. Young Ming anxiously immediately raises hand askedteacher can test very much difficultly, teacher only said: "Isextremely simple." Is happy everybody to clap the hands and shoutpraise, after but tests, each people all horrible to look at, how canbe simple? Thereupon young Ming also asks teacher, only listens to teacher tosay: "I may not speak incorrectly oh, ' ten points ' simple, is forleft over ' 90 minute ' to be very difficult!"。

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