英语谚语幽默

1.来点搞笑的英文谚语啊 最好不是直译的

Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. 宁做鸡头，不做凤尾。

The foremost dog catches the hare. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃。 Every potter praises his own pot. 老王卖瓜，自卖自夸。

The fox preys farthest from home. 兔子不吃窝边草。 The proof of the pudding is in the eating. 要知道梨子的滋味，最好是亲口尝一尝。

One swallow does not make a summer. 一花独放不是春。 One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine. 一颗老鼠屎坏了一锅粥。

Set a fox to keep one's geese. 引狼入室。 What do you expect from a pig but a grunt？ 狗嘴里吐不出象牙。

Obedience is the first duty of a soldier军人以服从命令为天职。

Observation is the best teacher.观察是最好的老师。 Offense is the best defense.进攻是最好的防御。

Old friends and old wines are best.陈酒味醇，老友情深。 Old sin makes new shame.一失足成千古恨。

Once a man and twice a child.一次老，两次小。 Once a thief, always a thief.偷盗一次，做贼一世。

Once bitten, twice shy.一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳。 One boy is a boy, two boys half a boy, three boys no boy.一个和尚挑水喝，两个和尚抬水喝，三个和尚没水喝。

One cannot put back the clock.时钟不能倒转。 One eyewitness is better than ten hearsays.百闻不如一见。

One false move may lose the game.一着不慎，满盘皆输。 One good turn deserves another.行善积德。

One hour today is worth two tomorrow.争分夺秒效率高。 One man's fault is other man's lesson.前车之鉴。

One never loses anything by politeness.讲礼貌不吃亏。 One swallow does not make a summ一燕不成夏。

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！” “我没有睡着。”

那个男人回答。 “没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道这个谚语吗？ 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。 “没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。

’” “啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能让我们的老师回去吗？ 有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。

五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌？ 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。

但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。 三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son y。

1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student. When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。

一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

2. Difference "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。

研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。” 3.Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long." 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。

她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。

每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。” 4.Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services. Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services." Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter." The $1.50 was returned without delay. 面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。

帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。

但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。 5. Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”英文谚语大全 /Article/ShowArticle.asp?ArticleID=275Each bird loves to hear himself sing. 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。

Each day brings its own bread. 天无绝人之路。 Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命运掌握在自己手中。

Eagles catch no flies. 大人物不计较小事情。 Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together. 鹰单飞，羊群集。

Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。 Early sow, early mow. 播种早的收获早。

Early start makes easy stages. 早开始是成功的保证。 Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。

Early wed, early dead. 早婚早夭。 Easier said than done. 说话容易做事难。

East or west, home is best. 在家千日好，出门时时难。 Easy come, easy go. 易得易失。

Eat at pleasure, drink 。

英语谚语

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笑话/otherweb/e_c/joke/index.htm

英语小知识：Can Fish Drow

Yes,fish can drown.It isn't the water that keeps fish alive, but the oxygen in the water . Fish breathe through their gills, which draw oxygen from the water. When too many fish crowd together in a small pond or tank,the oxygen in the water may soon be used up.When this happens,the fish suffocate,which is what happens when any animal drowns

鱼会淹死吗

是的。鱼同样会淹死。使鱼能活着的并不是水，而是水中的氧气。鱼用其鳃进行呼吸，从水中吸取氧气。当过多的鱼拥挤在一个小水塘或小水池里时，水中的氧气很快就消耗尽。在这种情况下，鱼就会窒息而死。这与其它动物淹死的情况是完全一样的.

英语小说

傲慢与偏见 简.奥斯丁

简·爱 夏绿蒂.勃朗特

项链

欧叶妮.格朗台 巴尔扎克

死魂灵 果戈理

变形记 卡夫卡

变色龙

绿野仙踪 莱弗兰.鲍姆

麦琪的礼物 欧.亨利

英语小故事

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin

g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"

翻译：小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”

1. Waste not,want not. 俭以防匮。

2. From saving comes having. 富有来自节俭。 3. A penny saved is a penny gained. 省一文是一文。

4. Take care of the pence and the pound will take care of themselves. 金钱积少便成多。 5. Frugality is an estate alone. 节俭本身就是一宗财产。

6. He that regards not a penny,will lavish a pound. 小钱不知节省，大钱将滥花。 7. Small gains bring great wealth. 积小利，成巨富。

8. Many a little makes a mickle. 积少便成多。 9. As the touchstone tries gold,so gold tries man. 试金之石可试金，正如黄金能试人。

10. Courage and resolution are the spirit and soul of virtue. 勇敢和坚决是美德的灵魂。 11. The path to glory is always rugged. 光荣之路常坎坷。

12. Nothing is difficult to the man who will try. 世上无难事，只要人肯试。 13. The fire is the test of gold;adversity of strong man. 烈火试真金，困苦炼壮士。

14. Great hopes make great man. 远大的希望造就伟大的人物。 15. No way is impossible to courage. 勇士面前无险路。

16. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. 平静的大海决不能造就出熟练的水手。 17. The good seaman is known in bad weather. 坏天气下才能识得出良好的海员；要识好海员，须凭坏天气。

18. The best hearts are always the bravest. 行为最勇敢的人心地总是最善良。 19. We must not lie down,and cry,God help us. 求神不如求己。

20. He that falls today may be up again tomorrow. 今天跌倒的人也许明天就会站起。 21. Rome was not built in a day. 罗马并非一日可建成；坚持必成。

22. Success belongs to the persevering. 胜利属于坚忍不拔的人。 23. We must repeat a thousand and one times thatperseverance is the only road to success. 我们要多次重申：不屈不挠是取得胜利的唯一道路。

24. Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. 十九次失败，到第二十次获得成功，这就叫坚持。 25. Step by step the ladder is ascended. 登梯需要逐级登。

26. Adversity leads to prosperity. 困苦通向昌盛。 27. Patience and application will carry us through. 忍耐和专心会使我们度过难关。

28. Fortune often rewards with interest those that have patience to wait for her. 做事只要有耐心，到头总会有好运；耐心候好运，好运常会来。 29. All things will come round to him who will but wait. 只要肯等待，一切都会按时来。

30. Constant dropping wears the stone. 滴水不绝可穿石。 31. Omelets are not made without breaking of eggs. 鸡蛋不打破，蛋卷做不成；不甘愿吃苦，则预期效果达不到。

32. The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down. 世界好似一把梯，有人上去有人下。 33. There needs a long apprenticeship to understand the mystery of the world's trade. 要知世事奥秘多，须要长期作学徒。

1）找一个朋友，让他先说10遍“老鼠”，然后再说10遍“鼠老”，待他说完“老鼠，老鼠，老鼠，鼠老，鼠老，鼠老”之后，立即问他“猫最怕什么”，几乎可以保证他会答“老鼠”. （2）还有请人朗读古诗“暗湿竹，暗湿绿，暗湿透春竹，暗湿透春绿”，“卧梅又闻花，卧枝伤痕低”之类. （3） 你问他：“一个三点水加一个来是什么？” 他想了一想说：“不确定，涞（LAI）？” 你再问：“一个三点水加一个去呢？” 他80%会说：“。什么字？有这个字吗？去？” 其实应该是“法”。

（4） 伸出1个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出2个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出3个手指，问别人“1+1是几”10人里最多1人答对 （5） 甲：给你讲个故事，从前有个傻子，别人问他什么他都说“没有”，比如问他你吃 饭了吗？他说“没有”，你叫什么？他说“没有”。

唉，对了，你听过这个故事么？乙：没有。

关于时间的英语谚语 （一）时间是金，其值无价 There is no time like the present. 现在正是时候 Take time by the forelock. 把握目前的时机 To choose time is to save time. 选择时间就是节省时间 Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today. 今日事，今日毕 Procrastination is the thief of time. 拖延为时间之窃贼 One of these days is none of these days. 改天改天，不知哪天 Tomorrow never comes. 明天无尽头，明日何其多 What may be done at any time will be done at no time. 常将今日推明日，推到后来无踪迹 （二）时间是风，去而不返 Time undermines us. 光阴暗中催人才。

或莫说年纪小人生容易老 Time and tide wait for no man. 岁月不待人 Time cannot be won again. 时间一去不再来 Time is, time was, and time is past. 现在有时间，过去有时间，时间一去不复返 Time lost can not be recalled. 光阴一去不复返 Time flies like an arrow, and time lost never returns. 光阴似箭，一去不返 （三）时间是尺，万物皆检 Time tries friends as fire tries gold. 时间考验朋友，烈火考验黄金 Time tries truth. 时间检验真理 Time is the father of truth. 时间是真理之父 Time will tell. 时间能说明问题 Time brings the truth to light. 时间使真相大白。或时间一到，真理自明。

Time and chance reveal all secrets. 时间与机会能提示一切秘密 Time consecrates: what is gray with age becomes religion. 时间考验一切，经得起时间考验的就为人所信仰 （四）时间是秤，衡量权质 Time tries truth. 时间校验真理。Time will tell. 时间能说明问题。

Time reveals (discloses) all things. 万事日久自明 There is no time like the present. 现在正是时候。Take time by the forelock. 把握目前的实际。

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today. 今日事，今日毕。Tomorrow never comes. 明天无尽头，明日何其多。

Time flies. 光阴似箭，日月如梭 Time has wings. 光阴去如飞 Time is a file that wears and makes no noise. 光阴如锉，细磨无声 Time stays not the fool's leisure. 时间不等闲逛的傻瓜 Time and I against any two. 和时间携起手来，一人抵两人 Time is life and when the idle man kills time, he kills himself.时间就是生命，懒人消耗时间就是消耗自己的生命。或时间就是生命，节省时间，就是延长生命 Time spent in vice or folly is doubly lost. 消磨于恶习或愚行的时间是加倍的损失 （五）时间是水，淘金流沙 Time works wonders. 时间可以创造奇迹或时间的效力不可思议 Time works great changes. 时间可以产生巨大的变化 Times change. 时代正在改变。

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